Myth 1: Victims will go on to abuse children
Although this is true in a sense it is only a very small percentage of men that do go on to abuse children. From current research it seems that only about 7% of all male survivors will go on to abuse, sexually, children.
Survivors of sexual abuse will sadly go on to be abusive in other ways because they are generally harbouring anger and fear in their hearts. Men don’t have the emotional tools to deal with their fears easily.
Myth 2: Male child sexual abuse is rare
We are finding more and more research into the sexual abuse of boys. In South Africa, we know that there are in fact more boys than girls that have suffered sexual abuse.
By the age of 18 33% of all girls will have endured some form of sexual abuse, but 44% of all boys aged 18 will have endured some form of sexual abuse.
Myth 3: Stranger Danger
We often teach our children that they need to fear strangers, but the sad truth is that boys and girls are often abused by people that they know or trust. Boys are raped by neighbours, teachers, family members, brothers, cousins, uncles and pastors.
These are often the ones that we should trust. The advent of children being raped by strangers is in fact very rare.
Myth 4: Children are afraid of and hate their abusers
Not every abuser is violent, not every abuser is a demon. Truth is that many abusers spend months grooming and softening their victims up. Many time boys feel loved by their abusers, cared for and encouraged.
Many victims will only grow to hate their abusers once they realise that they were manipulated into the relationship and that they in fact were too young to be able to decide for themselves.
Myth 5: Just forget about it
Sexual abuse is something that doesn’t just go away, as much as you try, it will remain with you until you deal with it.
Myth 6: Boys can’t be sexually abused by women
Fact is that in South Africa, if you are under 16 and a women older than you sleeps with you, it is rape. The horrid truth is that in south Africa the majority male of victims are in fact raped by women.
Myth 7: A boy that has sex with an older woman is “lucky”
Boys are not lucky to have sex with an older woman. Truth is that boys are not emotionally ready to have physical sex, they might think of it constantly, but they are not ready for it. It causes emotional and relationship issues in their adulthood.