The first organization in Africa to support and talk about male survivors of sexual abuse.

Other effects on Adult Victims

* When things go wrong it is generally my fault
* This leads to distrust of self AND one’s feelings
* Trust – can’t trust anyone, especially those close to you
* My feelings and the expression of my feelings is either not allowed or not important
* When the act occurred they received some kind of pleasure which normally results in that pleasure always leads to some pain somewhere and therefore I would not allow myself to experience pleasure
* Sex is love … it is NOT it is just an enhancer of love
* Due to becoming disassociated they are generally the observer of life rather than a participant
* Either they or their partner has to make the relationship safe for them … to do this there is normally a strong control dynamic that takes place
* There partner has to “prove” their love on a constant basis
* Expression of inner feelings is not done for two general reasons a) that people won’t believe them or honour them and b) they are generally aware of their feelings. They often get emotions confused with feelings. These are two very different things
* They are not present often … this is shown up when the other party would say something like “where are you I am talking to you”
* That everyone can “see” there shame/guilt and that they are therefore a bad person
* That they are dirty and nobody would want them
* Have great difficulty in saying no or putting appropriate boundaries in place

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